...
So I have a lot to say, and yet I have no idea how to say it. It seems like every relationship I get into leaves me hurting inside. So naturally, the advice would be stop getting into relationships.
I've been working on that, actually. It seemed pretty kickass for a while. Then my body decided to remind me that it has hormones, and they decided to flare up around a young man in particular. Yeah. While on tour, I developed a massive crush on someone in choir with me.
Happy day! He asked me to prom and we went! Unhappy day! He kept ditching me, and when we finally talked, I find out that my suspicions were confirmed, and he wasn't interested in me in the slightest.
Well that's not that big of a deal. He and I decide to ignore my crush for the time being, and continue being friends.
He comes over to hang out on Saturday. Hellz yeah, Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly! I'm totally stoked simply because I want to play it. But the whole time, he's being all hyper-affectionate towards me, and playing with my hair and blah blah blah. SO I'm thinking: "What are you playing at?"
Finally, after mustering up the courage to ask him in a cynical manner (cynicism works every time) I ask him what was up with that. He responds with: "I don't know." At least he apologized. And then promptly told me flat out that he doesn't have feelings for me.
WHOOP DEE FUCKING DOO. Play is straight with me, or I'll put a drill through your chest cavity! Ugh!
I feel like he isn't worth this aggravation, but at the same time, I still want to cry and be all emotional about it, even though it's probably stupid for me to feel this way at all.
I feel comfortable posting this, simply because no one reads this blog of mine.
-Rika
